I often use Stumble Upon and I came across a post on Mashable titled “An Open Letter to Science” and I thought it was funny and creative advertisement for Honeywell. So, I thought I would respond to it in a creative and playful way. This response is just me being playful. The content might seem serious, but it is just a response to the letter. Don’t take it seriously. Also, before you read any farther read the Mashable post, otherwise you will not understand what I am talking about.
Response to “An Open Letter to Science”
Dear Mr. Slattery,
I recently received your letter though the internet (which I created) and I felt I had some explaining to do. I want to start by saying thank you for being a fan, but times have been tough. I have made a lot of progress in the last few years, but I can never seem to get enough funding.
Russia used to be a great supporter but lately they are too busy beating up homosexuals and stopping wars. They just don’t invest the way they use too. I have tried hard to convince them that I am the future, but the government is too busy passing laws against homosexuals and threatening WWIII.
Also, Germany used to court me and all my wonders, but lately they too have been too busy repairing the damage caused by the bankers. (P.S. I really hate those guys). At one point before the war they were making wonderful discoveries about me all the time. But at last things didn’t go so well and their progress has stalled.
As for America, it is clear they have given up on me altogether. They don’t really teach me in school and they only focus on the military applications I can provide. It is also clear that they have given up on space. They used to spend time and energy on advancing my space dreams but now, sadly, I have to rely on Red Bull and China.
As you can see it is very hard to provide you with all your childhood fancies. I did get you some of the cool toys off Star Trek. Am I right? Give me a break. If you would stop spending all your time fighting and hating each other, than maybe we could get some stuff done. Also, every time we have a break through together; you try to deny it because it isn’t profitable. Free Energy nailed it, but where is it? In some basement collecting dust because it’s not profitable for big business.
We both have to take our share of responsibility in this matter. I am well aware we are behind schedule here, but I can’t be blamed for everything. As we move forward you need to improve your education systems, if you wish to take this relationship to the next level. I can’t just give you everything you want. It doesn’t work that way. I would also like to see some improvements on war, hunger and poverty. These are all in your power to improve or even end, but you continue to let me down.
If you spend a little more time studying my ways and invest a little more money, than I feel we can do great things together.
Ps. the pizza on Mars is amazing; I will take you sometime, if you deserve it.